The Masculine Instincts of Leadership: Part II

Competing to Win at Life, Discovery, Adventure, and the Celebration of Victory for Males

THE ARES INSTINCT

This instinct in males may be the ultimate representative of male competitiveness as a feature of masculinity. Few people know that the effects of testosterone are not causative of violence or aggression but only of competitiveness.

As a mythological figure, Ares was the war god, brother to Athena, the goddess of wisdom and war, and diplomacy before the war. And so you can see a male-female difference in response to the same situation: war. Females use rationality to avert harm and disaster. Still, males use overwhelming shows of force and danger to discourage an opponent from starting a conflict.

Yet, we remember that the purpose of masculinity as functional in the "reptilian brain," the area of the mind responsible for automatic instincts, is to survive and reproduce. It is beneficial in do-or-die circumstances of danger and threats. As such, in the most primitive of human societies, you might call this master instinct of masculinity to be "the killer instinct."

However, in the modern world, it is very infrequently that we must use this instinct to literally "kill." That would only apply to the hand-to-hand combat of war or self-defense.

Instead, we more often have conflict poised to cause us harm in the workplace, college, courtroom, or sports activity. In these places, we may still call it "the killer instinct" but in the sense of "winning" or "one-upping" another person to achieve a goal or be victorious in a competitive environment.

In school, we may say, "I killed the test questions" and in sports, we often say, "he killed the ball." In the corporation, we may say, "he made a killing," all of which are not taking the life of another, but instead, perhaps, "killing their spirit." these are situations of bringing down the masculinity of another man a peg, so that we may "win" or succeed at achieving a goal.

An example of a technique in the workplace is to draw your attention to a movie theme in the film, Wanted, with actors James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman, and Angelina Jolie.

The main character of James McAvoy uses the phrase, "I'm sorry" at the beginning of the film when he is assailed in every area of masculinity to fend off shame. But by the end, he learns that he is the progeny of a long line of assassins, and learning the skills, he kills terrible guys and criminals, while in doing so, tells them, "I'm sorry" from the standpoint of competence at the Ares Instinct, and of authority.

Practice saying "I'm sorry" in both tones and notice the empowering difference in the latter mode. That's the spirit of winning in the workplace and life with the Ares Instinct—the instinct of elevating the noble self when there can be only one winner.

In romance, the Ares Instinct pairs with the mythological sister instinct of Athena Instinct in step 3 of courtship. This is again where women test men, in this case, in their level of "life force," viability, vitality, charisma, and passion for life. In their group, masculinity.

In myth, Athena was the goddess of both wisdom and war and as such, she judged combattant armies for their merit in battle and often chose the predetermined winner of a fight.